Saira Banu Pens Tribute To Dilip Kumar: 'Life Has Been Really Difficult Since His Death' | Exclusive

I can’t fathom the fact that two years have gone by without Dilip saab, not around me. It just feels like yesterday when I was caressing his head or feeding him his favorite dishes and even listening to some of the finest melodies along with him. I remember him every second of my life. This day comes as a thunderstorm in my life.

Since Dilip Saab’s passing away, life has been really difficult for me because we spent around 56 years together and grew up together as husband and wife. Everyone knows I fell in love with him at the age of 12 so I really can’t imagine him not being around me. I do feel the emptiness and do break down, but at the same time at the cost of sounding crazy, I have a gut feeling of his presence around me. Having said that, I feel fortunate to spend more than five decades experiencing supreme bliss and spending some unforgettable moments with the person I loved the most.

Every day we hold prayers for him, but today in particular we will have prayers and Quran Khani (special prayers in Urdu to pray for the peace of the people who have passed away) throughout the day with relatives and friends pouring in and giving me support through this period of grief. I also plan to visit his grave and offer prayers.

We distribute food among the needy every day but today we plan to prepare a few of Saab’s favourite delicacies including biryani, kebabs, and sheer korma. We plan to call a few orphan kids over at our house to eat and pray together and have a lovely and peaceful environment. I also plan to donate a few other things.

I still haven’t come to terms that he is not with us anymore because I can feel him all the time. It is really difficult for me to watch him on television or listen to his songs. The only time I stepped out was in December when they celebrated and honoured Saab by showcasing some of his iconic films. It was with great difficulty and a major effort to sit through Devdas. It was probably the first film that I saw of him and fell in love. I was really happy to see the audience sharing so much love for him and his work even today. Saab has left an unparalleled body of work that is admired by millions of his fans across the globe.

Not a moment has passed by without remembering Saab and I think it will continue to be the same for me.

(As told to Sonil Dedhia)